Did he really

5 posts, 5 voices

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.blame something on me so he had an excuse to leave for the weekend instead of saying he didn’t want to around. Or did he truly believed it was all my fault E.A.D 6/28/73 T.F.K 11/05/78 TY

Hey Audry,

I can look at this for you in a private chat.

Pixie

Hey Audry I hope this message finds you well and I’m sorry that you’re going through this. From what I feel right now I feel him making a lot of excuses and gaslighting he seems to not want to take accountability for his actions. He’s not taking into consideration your feelings, but also knows he isn’t in the right so he chooses to blame instead of listen.

I’m available if you’d like to red further into this and see into what happens next.

That is a deeper question than it might seem on the surface, and honestly, a simple “yes” or “no” might not do justice to how complex—and sometimes messy—human motives can be.

When conflicts arise, our responses are rarely driven by just one thing. It is entirely possible that he felt a genuine wave of anger and instinctively sought space to cope. In those moments, it’s incredibly common for someone to be completely blind to how their own behavior contributed to things or how they were unable to appreciate your feelings in their actions. Many of us have the same psychological blind spot: we naturally downplay our own actions in conflict as inconsequential while magnifying the weight of others’ behavior.

His choice to leave for the weekend might not have been a calculated excuse. It could have been an instinctual need to process intense feelings, or perhaps a clumsy attempt to prevent a tense situation from turning into a full conflagration. Humans aren’t always fully privy to our own deepest motives, and trapping ourselves in the idea that his action means only one specific thing can sometimes keep us stuck.

But let’s pull the focus back.

If his leaving wasn’t intentionally malicious, does that actually make the unresolved conflict and the weekend of distance any less painful for you?

And if it was intentional, does that truly mean he doesn’t care, or is it simply another painful example of thoughtlessness? If it’s the latter… where does that leave you?

Sometimes, untangling the exact “why” behind someone else’s behavior doesn’t do much to undo the reality of what happened. Once we sit with the truth of what happened, and acknowledge that we are hurting, the truest question becomes: where do we want to go from here?

I am sending you good energy to get past this. I hope things begin to settle soon and that you get the clarity and peace you deserve.

Hi Audry921, This feels calculated and planned to me. I would say he knows it isn’t all your fault. All the best, Alana