I'm so confused

2 days ago

I know my current relationship isn’t going anywhere he pushes me and then I push back emotionally and I tell him to leave and get out my life, I have even told him he can take out daughter with him as I have 4 of my own. He says he’s going to leave and doesn’t. He’s sweet then starts being mean again. I keep getting told by psychics that I need to give him time but I feel like with him I’m being weighed down I’m minimizing myself to fit in his hearth. I want marriage he doesn’t I’ve learned to just not want to marry him. I know there is a good partner for me out there but he needs to leave out my life and pretend I never met him. Sorry for rant I can’t talk to my family about this because it’s embarrassing.

2 days ago

Hi Mimi,

You are caught in a draining push / pull cycle, and your intuition is clearly signaling that this is weighing you down. Trust that inner guidance. Recognizing that marriage with him is no longer your desire marks an important step forward. Regarding your daughter, that statement appears to stem from deep overwhelm and frustration in the moment. It could lead to regret later, so take time to gather yourself and create a thoughtful plan that supports you and all of your children. It is valid to prioritize your peace rather than wait indefinitely for change. Establishing clear space and boundaries can help you move ahead with clarity. You deserve a relationship that truly uplifts and honors you. The right partner awaits once you open that path. If you need me, I would love to check into this for you. You have the strength to create the future you and your family deserve.

All the best

Love ALANA

2 days ago

Hi Mimi, just FYI you have your full name (first and last) listed, so for privacy purposes I recommend to edit that so that your name is not on a public internet board.

It sounds like what needs to occur for the both of you is counseling. Counseling to learn how to not push in relationships, as it sounds like you both have unhealthy coping patterns going on.

Best of luck to you

2 days ago

Thank you I changed my name

2 days ago

I’m sorry you’re carrying all of this, especially if you feel like you don’t have a safe place to sort through it openly. Relationship decisions are difficult enough without feeling isolated or embarrassed by what you’re experiencing.

Reading your post, what stands out to me is that you seem caught between what you feel today and what you hope might change tomorrow. That can leave a person feeling exhausted, stuck, and uncertain no matter which direction they look.

I’d like to offer you a simple exercise.

Imagine yourself 15 years in the future. In that future, he never changed, never married you, and remained exactly as he is today. Assume this outcome is certain.

As you sit with that image, notice your immediate reactions.

What thoughts arise?

What emotions do you feel?

Do you experience relief, sadness, anger, resignation, peace, fear, or something else entirely?

Don’t judge the answer or try to force one. Just observe it.

Then ask yourself:

“If I knew this was how the story ended, what would I want to do today?”

The purpose of this exercise isn’t to tell you what decision to make. It’s to help you better understand your own values, needs, fears, and hopes. Sometimes clarity comes not from finding answers, but from listening carefully to the parts of ourselves that have been trying to speak for a long time.

Whatever you ultimately decide, you deserve a life that feels authentic to you, not one built entirely around waiting for someone else to become a different person.

I wish you clarity and peace as you work through this.