English (Change)

Friendship insight

14 days ago

So I made the stupid choice to lie to my best friend for about a year. We’ve been best friends for 3yrs, have a pretty strong bond, and friendship. Of course she’s hurt, and feels betrayed. Had asked her if we could still remain friends, she said yes,(unsure if she meant that, or if she was just saying that to get me to stop texting her. Absolutely no idea.)but that before that happens, she asked me to give her some space, and suggested I focus on myself. The thing is, I don’t know where that leaves us exactly. I mean the friendship. Are we even still friends while taking this friendship break, or is this permanent? See, so many thoughts, and worries unanswered. We used to talk every day, now it’s been about two months since we last talked. I’ll text her here and there. She may read them, but doesn’t reply. Or she could very well be just ignoring them altogether. Idk. There’s more to this but getting to my point..I’ve asked advisors about this, and I get so many different answers. Well, most of them lately are the same, just kind of said in a different way. Got told she thinks of me often, misses me and our friendship, but isn’t quite ready to try and mend it right now. Has other things in her life she’s dealing with, before she can deal with our situation. Then there are some, that say the total opposite. So I’m just super confused. I want to know if her and I will get past this, and be able to rebuild, and strengthen our friendship? In time. I know she needs her space, and I know this will take time. Also, I know that if we do reconnect, and move forward with the friendship, that it won’t be as it was. I don’t expect it to be. I do however want it to be better than it was. I just feel so disconnected from her, and it really sucks. I could really use her, and our friendship right now, but because I put us in this mess, I can’t. Also, from feeling disconnected, and us not talking, I have no idea where we even stand, as I said earlier. Does she really want this friendship, or is it lost for good? Here lately the answers to these questions, haven’t turned out too well for me. I have had major anxiety about this, lose sleep thinking and worrying about this. So when I’m asking an advisor about the situation while feeling this way, the advisor is picking up on all of that, and it affects the reading I’m given. As well as what the advisor picks up from her energy at the time. So. Is there an advisor out there, that can possibly pick up clearer answers on things past the energies that are given at that time? If so, please could you help me out?