will he

12 posts, 5 voices

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Ive always wanted to know if my husband will ever spoil me and if he will ever buy me gifts or should i give up hope if he ever will and stop thinking if he will mine 7/11/92 his 12/18/92

Dear Moriah,

I am going to ask you a question as a counsellor.

Have you told him in person that this is important to you? or are you expecting that he will suddendly get it?

We do not do free answers here on this public forum.

However I would like you to consider that he is was always like this in the past it is very unlikely he is going to suddendly change – people have what is known as the basic Core Peronsalities.

All the best ESTHER

Im waiting to see if he will do it on his own i get mad that he hasnt bougth me not one thing as a suprise yet he tells me how he bougth his ex gold jewelry and clothes and it makes me jelous what does she have that i dnt you know

Oh dear – not so good.

I understand but I am going to tell you straight – buying presents for the ex like that means he is still emotionally attached there – I am speaking as a counsellor – I am not pulling any cards here

So why question to you is – why are you still there!!! You are choosing to stay in this situation – he is not going to suddenly change – forget that idea.

All the best ESTHER

I said he used to buy her gifts when he was with her but she cheatec and left her ive been good to him and i still havent got anything

I’ll tell you from experience some guys thank about that stuff and some don’t. You should try to drop hints and imply. Like when you are out say, “Oh, I would really love to have that!!!” ... Don’t push it though, if he cares and is smart enough he will catch the hint… :)

He may have an issue with the ex and how she cheated. Now he may be afraid to spoil you, and that you may do the same if he does. Just a thought.

Dear Moriah,

You did not answer my question.

Why you are still there if he treats you so badly????

He appears more attached to the ex than to you – she is getting the goodies not you his current partner.

ESTHER

The reason im with him is cause of our daugther shez 3 weeks

You need to really weigh this out, and know if he really loves you or not. If you feel he does then he may have some issues within his own self, and still have some issues with what happen with his ex. If you have a child then it makes it that much more important to know what the truth is.

Is there any money issues? That may be one thing, it sounds like you really need to have a talk to him and tell him straight how you feel. If he loves you then he will understand, even if he gets upset when you first try to talk to him. Just be open with what is on your mind…

Ah just a new daugther.

That is all the more reason on why you should be getting those gifts and not the ex.

I agree with Ashley above, you need to open up this discussion, sorry he will not just suddendly ‘get it’ in fact at present he is likely to blame you being hormanial due to having just given birth plus a lack of sleep.

All the best ESTHER

Whether he buys you gifts or not inside you will feel the same way. It may make you feel happy for the moment get a nice gift, but when the newness wares off you will still feel the same. Self worth is not measured by what someone gives you. He also may have spent a lot of money in the past, and found it only to rob him of a lot of money when a woman used him. If the woman had something more than you, he’d be chasing her down, instead of being with you. If he’s not buying you gifts simply buy yourself gifts, and he will ask you why you’re buying them. Buy yourself some flowers, and shine. You don’t need a man to do it for you. He might get the hint if you are showing him what you like and makes you feel happy. It brightens up your spirits and the room. Find positive ways to show him what you need. Men do not read minds, and most likely communication is lacking in your relationship. Be honest about your feelings, exactly what you want, and what you expect from him in a nice way. You create your own relationship, and if your needs aren’t getting met it is because you are not expressing yourself. If you can’t do it verbally, than write it out. He’s not your enemy, and don’t make him one. Leave the ex’s in the past and they are irrelevent to the present. You never have to compare yourself to other woman. You are uniquely created beautifully with your own gifts, talents and personality. Be yourself and be authentic and genuine.

being spoiled by your hubby is something you don’t want.. being appreciated and loved is what needs to be done in this marriage.

he will but their is a reason he doesn’t “spoil” you.

help yourself and come visit me in LC for better insights and advise.

I hope to hear from you soon!

ty & gb :)