Is divorce the right answer?

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Is divorce the right answer? I once believed that myself. Even divorced the person, and yes it was for me. I don’t think I would choose that path again. I understand now divorce isn’t the right answer if you are with the person you believe is the person worth fighting for until the end. Fighting, I don’t mean literally using my fists. I believe in prayer and meditation and with both you can find the divinity and pure love in your partner.

There is a time in your life where you have to take responsibility for what you’re not doing in your own life. No one can make you feel whole, complete, secure, stable, or even loved. All that comes from inside of yourself. Loving you is an important ingredient for your relationsip. If you are depending on that person to come rescue you, fix you, change you, or save the day, well guess what? They won’t save the day all the time. Most of the time they won’t rescue, save, or fix you. The only person that can do this is you.

You have to pick yourself up with your emotions,feelings,thoughts, and belief system, and figure out how to take full responsibility for you. No one can do it for you, and it’s not an easy way at first. You don’t have to struggle with pain and suffering all your life. You have to understand you create your own reality every day with your partner. You create the environment and life you share.

It’s easy to blame someone else, and it’s easy to say it’s all their fault because they aren’t doing what you want them to do. Every time you think that, there is a lesson for you to learn about yourself and them. Many times we think others need to change, and it’s us that need to change and not them.

So what really bugs you about your partner? Is it something you’re just making a big deal out of, or is it a big deal? There are big issues and little issues. What’s a big issue? That would be money, physical security as a house to live in, and whether you’re being physically, emotionally, or spiritually abused every day. Another big issue is any kind of addiction? Perhaps even cheating repeatedly fifty times and being unfaithful. These are the biggest, and means for divorce. Some issues are very small, and you just need to change your out look and perception on things. You need to work through your differences even if you’re crying, and it hurts. Problem solve. Be creative. Do something new in your life and relationship. Instead of beating your relationship to death, nurture it, bring it back to life. Learn to forgive. Those big issues can be worked out as well. It just depends on how devoted and dedicated you both are to get the help you need. Whether that be counseling, or healing, or speaking with someone that is going to direct you in the most positive direction. There is hope, and it just depends on how strong and courageous you both want to be to build a lasting relationship that works.

All rights reserved Hattiemattiemae Spiritweaver Augsut 15, 2013