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Active Listening

about 1 year ago

One of the biggest issues we have on the planet is the psychology of listening. According to statistics, we listen to half of the conversation and only remember 25-50 percent of what we hear.

There are many times we have selective hearing. We tune other individuals out, get angry, fume, and become resentful when we hear something we don’t want to hear. This is the natural process.

Blatantly, we have a natural resistance to hear the truth, yet we’re resistant to being told a lie.

At the opposite end of the scale we become angry when others sugar coat the facts, hide things for our protection, say things behind our back, gossip, nay say and be deceptive. No one likes to be betrayed.

So this is where Libra steps in and weighs the scales. If you lean too much to the left and completely tune out someone, have a closed mind, fixed mindset, and believe you know everything and you don’t need to know anymore, one can fall into their ego. Libra sees from both sides.

When you’re in the ego (False Self) and resistant to other cultural, religious/spiritual, educational, political, psychological, scientifical, and philosophical points of view, what happens is you fall behind, become ignorant in a sense, limit your options, and see from a limited point of view. (Take things personally).

The opposite end of the scale, when you’re in the soul (Authentic Self) you see from all points of view, see the bigger picture, and how everything correlates, connects, and comes around in full circle. Everyone plays a part in humanity on the macro level. (Take things objectively and understand all theories, beliefs, and opinions are subjective to interpretation).

On the Micro Level, Family, Friends, Co-Workers, Neighbors, Strangers, Romantic Partners become very close to us. All of us live in an addictive culture.

Escaping our bodies is a lot easier than staying grounded, listening, and living a healthier life. One will swing to the left or to the right and circle around until they feel frustrated, angry, bitter, and resentful. When the pain is great enough, this is when you will take a different approach.

The next issue is the idea of the Eastern/Western point of view of the inner world vs. the external world. It is my fault/it is your fault.

Shame, Blame, and Guilt. This is part of the Karpman Drama Triangle. Judge & Jury, Victim (Vulnerable), and Rescuer. (Co-dependency).

All three of these roles we each play. All of us can be the Villain and Hero in someone’s life depending on what they say, whether we agree with what they say, and if we’re resistant, we victimize them and make them our victim. (Ego). “I know what is best.” What’s the problem with this scenario? No one ever gets off the karmic wheel. Karma is Action. What types of Action you take determines the outcome.

Blatantly, your facial expression, body language, tone of voice, words, and false beliefs play a huge part in why your relationships don’t work.

Time is subjective, for the simple question? How long will it take you to learn what you need to learn? How long will it take the other person to learn what they need to learn?

And what is (Saturn) teaching you? Impatience vs. Patience.

With Impatience nothing ever remains glued together. It always collapses. Short-term gains, short-term fixes, they never last. Patience is all about long-term gains, long-term fixes, the bigger picture. When you are impatient, this means patience may be something you need to master.

Your actions and choices are dependent on what knowledge, wisdom, insight, and hindsight you’ve accumulated in your personal experience.

about 1 year ago

One demands that another person conform to their core personality type. Such as an Introvert projects Introversion and Extrovert projects Extroversion.

And they both can be right, but it’s not to the left or right, it’s walking together in the middle through faith, hope, love, and trust. If you are not in balance yourself, how do you expect another individual to be in balance with you?

When someone speaks, remain silent, be objective, hear what they’re saying. Not what you believe they’re saying.

What are they saying? Take time to contemplate on the ideas, different point of view, and decipher whether something is valuable to take with you in your tool box, and if you don’t agree, accept they have a different perspective and point of view.

Example: I’m and INFJ and the polarity ESTJ Personality. Authoritative vs. Authoritarian.

One is Extroverted, a sensor and thinker, and the other is Introverted, Extroverted Intuition, and Feeling. We’re wired completely different, both serve humanity in two different ways. An ESTJ may enforce the Legal laws as a Judge.

The INFJ is the moral and ethical officer who may be the lawyer, the police officer, but also can be a spiritual teacher, psychologist.

This is feminine & masculine energy. All of us must heal both sides of ourselves the Venus & Mars.

I heard one person describe it like this, one is Akaido (Soft, disciplined) while the other is Judo (Agressive, disciplined.)

You can see this in the spiritual warrior vs. the military warrior and both play their part in the world. There’s a time to be on the offense and another on the defense. Both must come into balance in the beautiful dance of the feminine and masculine.

When one speaks, and you disagree, leave the information in peace instead of attacking them because they see from a different angle. There is no right or wrong answer. It is dependent on whether it works for you.

Have gratitude someone takes the time to answer you with respect and dignity. There are some individuals who wouldn’t take the time at all. Time is valuable.

You will find this in various walks of life whether it is in institutions, business, religious/spiritual settings for the simple reason they’re setting personal boundaries.

Authoritative vs. Authoritarian leadership drives the world.

For Example: Authoritarians aren’t going to waste their time like me, as an Authoritative and teach you these skills. They expect you to already know this.

They don’t have the patience or the time. These are real facts, and so I’m pointing out certain keys you may need to pay attention to for survival.

What are they teaching you when they don’t answer an email, text, phone call, and block you? Externally you will blame it on them. It must be something they’re doing. And this is the illusion. “They don’t understand me.”

Why do you get frustrated, angry, and bitter when they do not react? It’s simply because they’re emotionally grounded, their emotions are in balance, and they know themselves inside and out. They know their strengths and weaknesses.

about 1 year ago

They will respond to you, have patience with you, tolerate you, but you will not be able to play the Karpman Drama Triangle with everyone in the world.

There’s a time when you have to let go of the dysfunctional roles we play in society as a whole. The longer you hold on to them, resist change, and struggle, the more emotionally and mentally painful it is, because the world constantly changes. It doesn’t stop for anyone.

Why won’t they listen to you? Attitude, Ego, I know it all. If you want to hold on to the win-lose mentality, they’re waiting for you to realize whether you want to keep winning and losing in life, or start the win-win mentality and be successful.

When you don’t listen, you’re used to the win-lose scenario, where someone must win and someone must lose.

Power, control, and using negative words and manipulation to get your way.

It’s not about your way. And life will humble you, it will provide the Villains and Hero’s to teach you how to walk the middle way.

No one wins in relationships without listening, doing their inner work, adapting, adjusting, and problem solving.

This is how you lose in life by being stubborn and vindictive. If you want to even the score, seek revenge, pay back the wound, in my experience like many others, it always comes back around and backfires.

The psychology of listening asks you to be neutral when someone speaks. This doesn’t mean they’re right or wrong, but whether it applies to your life and experience.

There are 16 different personality types, and frankly, if you think everyone will shape into one personality, it’s not going to work. The world’s not going to change for anyone. You will have to adapt, adjust, and problem solve along the way.

Everyone’s not going to agree with you, see things from your perspective, and have the same interpretation of the same painting.

If you and three of your friends are standing in front of an abstract painting, they’re all going to have three different angles. So when you go to a professional, they are giving you their interpretation of your portrait.

And you may not like the projection, but this is what we do in life. We project an image, sound, smell, taste, and touch in our physical existence.

This is very similar to a movie projector. The Villain reflects the negative side and the Hero projects the positive side.

(Leo) You’re the focal point, the star of the show, the actress, and you write the script, but the Villains and Hero’s, they never fit the part, and the script, because they’ve written their own script. Throw out the negative script and the positive script. Be objective, neutral, and listen.

When you allow people to be their authentic self, step into their authentic truth, and stop silencing them, you will be amazed how everything flows more smoothly.