Marriage

5 posts, 4 voices

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Please can someone tell me how long I have to wait before I really am driven out of the house. I’m really looking for an excuse to leave, but my husband has to realise there’s nothing in this relationship now. People change and we are just torn apart by the kids. I just feel I could manage them so much better on my own. He’s just allowed them to put wrestling on the play station which I thought we’d agreed was banned. Then he’s locked his workroom door. He can break rules and lock himself away from the consequences. And now he’s just given one of the boys a packet of hot chocolate and not the other boy. AAAAARGH! Thank you for sites which allow you to moan!!

dear you and your husband have grown apart has nothing to do with the kids you have had many excuses already yet you still remain if you are truly wanting out than make your plan tell him you are disatisfied with how the relationship is going I would be glad to look at your relationship further just contact me

Hi Jenny

Men are like little boys so in fact you have another child than a husband. The person above is right you have grown apart the problem is I think in a way fear of the unknown not knowing if things are going to work has kept you there and possibly deep down you still love your husband and in the back of your mind have somehow wanted things to work. If you don’t want to be in the marriage then you need to first sit down by yourself and make plans like a place to live are the kids going to live with you or your husband, money to support you that sort of thing. Just up and leaving isn’t a good idea as you have to have a plan in place and then you are going to have to tell your husband you can no longer tolerate what is happening and talk about it see what he says as you both need to talk. Both parents need to be on the same page when it comes to discipline else the parenting aint going to work super nanny would have been a good option to get things back on track what happened there. If your husband is not doing his part in the marriage then you need to say something. You could always try a temporary seperation as in you go and stay with your parents or a friend and see if that makes your husband wake up have little contact tell him only contact me if it is an emergency and see if he then starts to realise he needs to buck up his ideas.

Best of luck

Thank you, you are both right. Yes, I can see I’ve had excuses, but I think until now I have just gone along with things because he doesn’t think we’ve grown apart. What else has kept me here is that he works so hard to keep a roof over our heads. And as far as he sees it, and it’s probably the reality, he’s supporting us and can’t do everything. But at the same time he’s very protective and controlling of his work and environment. I like the idea of a temporary seperation. I’m trying to put the idea into his head that he’d be better off taking his work somewhere out with the house and concentrating on that for a couple of months at a time. I start a new job in April which should take some of the pressure off him and give me more independence. People say no matter what, the children are better off with both parents involved, but I can’t help feeling they’d be more settled because there’ll be less inconsistency. Super nanny would be good, but I think Cesar Milan (dog trainer) would be stricter!! lol. Thank you so much for taking the trouble and giving me the clarification I need, to believe that I need to get into gear. x

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