Am I pathetic?

13 posts, 11 voices

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I need help with a relationship that is toxic to me…I can’t seem to get away from him no matter what he does…he tells me he loves me but he has another woman that is married sending him naked pics and he acts like I am the one with the problem when I nicely ask about her…we are friends for over 30 years and we have been lovers off and on for that same amount of time….every time I try to walk away and think I can….he comes back around….what will it take for me to walk away and should I?

hello,

I really feel sorry on your current issue. I am here to help you and guide. Please call me am on line to find out what holds for you in the time to come.

god bless

Where is your self respect, my dear?? If you don’t respect yourself, he won’t. He’s having his cake and eating it. Friends, you say? What would you think if a girlfriend was treating you like this? Get angry with him. How DARE he treat you like this? Why the hell are you so complacent about him rubbing your face in the fact he gets naked pictures from a married woman??? 30 years wasted in a relationship where he’s using you. Of course he ‘comes round’ when you walk away from him. Who wouldn’t? You are so loving and compassionate, blaming yourself for what he’s doing. Yes, the reason he blames you is because you blame yourself and don’t stand up to him. Right. You are going to do something really difficult. But this is YOU time. FIRST, realise right now that you have just wasted 30 years being friends with a complete jerk who is Abusing you. Yes, he is! Domestic abuse is more about years of a pattern of control and manipulation which often culminates or goes alongside the violence. Google it, and you’ll wake up to how he’s been using and abusing you… SECOND learn to say NO!! As I said, it comes with learning how you value yourself. What do you deserve? I’ll tell you what… a relationship where you are loved and respected; a life where you’re not always feeling demoralised and aiming to please a man who is taking advantage of you. THIRD tell him straight that you aren’t standing for this anymore and get out of his life. Take someone with you who can stand up to him, and will be strong and not allow you to back out. DON’T allow him ANY contact with you whatsoever. Don’t answer his texts/emails/phone calls. He will beg and beg and say you are being cruel and that he loves you… This guy doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘love’. It’s a word he’s learnt to say to women to get what he wants. Don’t get caught up in this emotional blackmail. They are just words to try and make you feel bad so you’ll go back to him, so he can control you to make himself feel good. That is NOT a proper relationship, and you know it deep down. But because there has been so many years of him treating you like this, he has taught you to blame yourself for his outrageous behaviour and so you will feel cruel. You have learnt to depend on his treatment of you and so you will feel as if you can’t cope without it. BUT YOU CAN!!! See it like you are being cruel to yourself be kind to yourself. START LIVING. For your own sake. Start living the life you deserve. If you follow this advice and BREAK IT OFF FOR GOOD (on’t even dare to think you can still be in contact and on speaking terms with him. You need to be totally RID of him) I promise you that in a couple of months or so you’ll realise how he’s been treating you. I promise you will begin to realise your self worth, and you will grieve as you come to realise how you’ve let this guy call himself your friend just so he can have sex with you and have you on hand to boost his ego. You will see how this ‘friendship’ has been totally one-sided. And maybe you should have some counselling to help you move on and come to terms with so many years of emotional abuse. You have to be REALLY STRONG!! But I hope you will be. You deserve better. You really do. Good luck, hope you make it. It’s up to you to break this pattern of on off abusive behaviour. xx

You need to ask yourself WHY you’re allowing him to do this. You must have strong feelings, or maybe you’re afraid of leaving him. Does he have a short temper? (I feel he does). Ask him how he would feel if it was you doing what he’s doing. Tell yourself you deserve better, and then the next time (he comes around) you’ll be stronger, and wo’t give into him. But I feel you may have to be careful here, because i’m getting the impression you need to deal with this carefully, because as i said before, i feel he has a temper! I’ve been through a similar situation. On and off, this man would be in contact with my ex, and it ended up in a rather bad and not so nice situation. (no violence, just a lot of upset)! Don’t get more involved with him, not unless he’s willing to commit to you, (110%) and give this MARRIED lady a wide birth!

Merry Meet Kimmy,

I know exactly what you are feeling. It is a matter of making up your own mind. You have already stated it is a Toxic relationship. Now just keep this in the front of your mind, don’t let your heart make decisions for you and put your foot down!

You already know it it up to You to make the move away from him. You day he keeps coming back. But, you keep allowing it. You do not have to allow such things in your life. Put your foot down! Say no to toxic and yes to health

sweetie i;m sorry to hear about this please join me in my chat and i will help you he is not the on for you!!! god bless (:

Hi Spirit will tell me exactly what u need to know but they will never make the choice for you…come into my chat i feel i can help you Kimmy.

Sabrina

Hi

Not pathetic more niave and trusting.

In order to get rid of him you have to stand up and tell him it is over and why if you have to be brutal to get your reasons across so be it. But you do have to tell him why it is over so that you don’t leave unanswered questions that could cause him to contact you.

Then you will need to block him in your phone and email I would recommend either contacting your phone provider or download something such as easy reject and programme in all his numbers so that you don’t receive calls and texts.

Best of luck

Remember you can do better than this guy.

Kimmy, sweetheart, you were really brave to come on the site and ask for help. Please stay with us and take the positive aspects from our replies to your difficulties and ignore the disagreements. Basically, you need to cut this guy out of your life. You are absolutely doing the right thing to talk about it and ask for help. YOU are what matters. YOU are important. I’m concerned that in your vulnerable position you might be scared off. It’s ok. You ARE entitled to support and help because YOU have been emotionally manipulated and controlled by this guy. You are totally blameless in any of this and we are here to support you. And generally everyone here thinks the same about your situation in spite of conflict about another, totally separate, issue. ... x

Hi

I am really sorry you got caught in this cross fire. I responded to your post because I was once where you are at present and wanted to empower you to do what is best for you not the player you have been manipulated by for so long. That guy knows how to play women and he has no respect for women whatsoever. You deserve so much better than that guy I just hope you realise it and permanently get rid of him. I got rid of a guy in 2004 nearly 5 years after meeting him he tried to convince me to stick around and I said no and have had nothing to do with him ever since in fact he is at some point going to have to face up to what he did to me and all those women as he is an arrogant pig. The fact that he is trying to play 2 women off of each other is a huge flag. Run for the hills and don’t look back there is a guy out there for you that is so much better that will treat you how you want to be treated. You may have to look inward to find inner strength to get rid of this one but remember one thing you are so much better than he is.

Best of luck I know you can do this

hello Love, i do see you love him more then what your aware of, your Aura shows me that you have grown attached to him, it is like your life is not the same without him in it good or bad, i would be happy to advise you in the correct direction, please call me for 3free mins and if you feel that we are on the same page, i will help you futher

hello, you are welcome. Join me in chat for answer of your questions. I need your date of birth,time,place of birth and name. Base on these info i will prepare your birth chart and speak everything about you.Please don’t ask for free reading.God bless you

Dear, I am feeling very sorry regarding your issue. I can help you in this difficult situation. I can assist you in the proper way as your trouble will become vanish. thanks contact me.