re sisters

2 posts, 2 voices

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i cant do right for doing wrong with my sisters we lost our mum in 2009 and i do help around the house but then they turn around and do it all over again why dont they believe i do it i dont speak to one of them and i think she is turning my other sister against me what do i do i am so upset over this i am not working and trying to get a job

I’m so sorry for your loss. I think maybe your sisters are looking to you to fill your mum’s role, but on the other hand resenting and blaming you because you can’t. It isn’t your job. You can’t be a mum and you can’t please everyone or make things better for your sisters. Sounds as if you’re feeling like a bit of a cinderella. If you don’t set boundaries, your sisters won’t respect you. You need time to grieve for your mum instead of trying to fill her place. No one should expect so much of you. I suggest you have a ‘family’ meeting with a clear idea of what you want and expect – list of house rules/allocated jobs/etc. Tell your sisters that everyone has a responsibility. You are not going to be a scapegoat, and if they still have issues maybe they need to look at how they’ve coped with their loss. Mum’s death wasn’t your fault, and you are all adults with other responsibilities and lives. Just make sure you look after and nurture yourself and give yourself time to grieve and move on. I’m sure in time your sisters will see you being strong and making good choices and will follow your lead. Hope this helps.